HOME SWEET HOME!

I was released from the hospital today. I am SO happy to be home. I am feeling pretty good overall. My pain from the surgery itself is minimal. I am trying to get back on my regular pain meds for my back and fibro and I should feel 100% better.
I will post about my surgery another day when I can sit longer. Thanks everyone for all the support! I am finally a Sassy Fatty Loser!

LAST MEAL; FEEL ILL!

It is now just after midnight and I have finished my "Tour of Food". I slept most of the day since I was up all night last night. I woke up at 8PM and hadn't had anything to eat. I really wanted to have my last dinner from The Cheesecake Factory so I checked out their website and couldn't believe they are actually open until 11:30PM weeknights. I called in our order and by the time I drove the 25 minutes to Fresno, our Spicy Cashew Chicken, Orange Chicken and one slice of Godiva Cheesecake was brought out to my Yukon. Talk about service!
Of course I ate WAY too much and more than I usually do. I still have half of my cheesecake left but I will either finish it by 2AM or leave it for my daughter who will be here tomorrow. After 2AM I am on clear liquids until 6AM Friday morning and then NOTHING til after surgery at 3PM! I can't believe my day is finally almost here. I just hope that everything goes fine and I wake up without a tube in my throat and have a fast recovery. I keep reading about post-ops who have had their gall bladder out and they complain that pain was far worse than WLS. I have already done the gall bladder walk of pain so BRING IT ON!
This girl is ready to be a Sassy Fatty Loser!

TIME IS GETTING AWAY FROM ME!!!

Today I realized that I have only THREE more days to eat what I want! I had pizza that was left over from yesterday and a trip to The Cheesecake Factory for some Spicy Cashew Chicken over Rice is planned along with a slice of Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. Other than that I really can't think of anything else I want to eat. I ordered two cans of Unjury, one Chocolate and one Unflavored. My Dr. isn't a big fan of protein drinks but I wanted to have them in the house for the first few weeks. I am only on clear liquids for a week after surgery. Then I can start eating refried beans and a few other foods that I really don't like.

I have my list made out for all the things I haven't bought yet such as chewable vitamins, MOM, sugar free popsicles etc. It has been too friggen hot to get out of the house but I have to go pick up some drugs in the morning at the pharmacy. It was 115 today and very humid. This is not normal for this area and there is no sign of any change coming soon. I am taking my Dad's fan with me to the hospital just in case!

I can't wait until it is this time next week and I should be home. I may not be released until Monday since my surgery is so late in the day on Friday. My house is nice and clean and I love my new housekeeper. I hope I can keep her for a long time.

SIX MORE DAYS

This last week I met with my pain doctor and had my pre-op with Dr. Higa. I couldn't believe that I have lost 10 pounds since my initial weigh in. When I was in Ft. Bragg I ate REALLY bad and mainly ate these awesome truffles from Mendocino Chocolate Company. The dark chocolate are my favorite and the inside just melts in your mouth. I also lived on Chocolate Milk! I think I have had a years worth of chocolate in the past two weeks.

My surgery is now going to be at 3PM on July 28th. I am going to have 2 foreign Dr's observing Dr. Higa perform my surgery PLUS 2 Bariatric equipment salesmen. I should get some sort of kick back for allowing them to watch me be sliced and diced! Perhaps a swimming pool? I asked Dr. Higa again to please take out my ovaries while he was in there. He laughed and said that I was going to get him into trouble he just knew it!

I am still having good days and bad days and still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call my Dad to tell him something. I still have a hard time accepting the fact that he is gone. I really appreciate all the comments on my last post.

I have a housekeeper coming at noon today so I need to get some sleep. My sleep is still screwed up as usual.

Hardest Thing I'll Ever Do

I spent the last week in Ft. Bragg at the bedside of my father. He was alert enough to know I was there and we had a few laughs. By Thursday, July 13, he was unresponsive due to the increase in pain medications. I sat by his bed all day and just talked to him. I told him he didn't need to worry about me because I was going to have surgery soon to help my back and hopefully be able to go back to work. This was the only time I mentioned to him that I was having surgery ever.
I left the hospital at 9:25 just as "Sleepless in Seattle" was ending. He passed away right after I left while Jimmy Durante was singing "Make Someone Happy".
As soon as I walked into his house the phone was ringing and it was his nurse telling me the sad news. I was on my cell phone with my husband and of course I was hysterically crying and telling the nurse I would be right back to the hospital. Alan is yelling at me to get myself together before I tried to drive, which of course I didn't do. I don't know how I made that drive in one piece since I was crying the entire way. The nurse met me outside and hugged me. I went into my Dad's room and he looked exactly like I had left him. I sat by his bed crying and rubbing his forehead until my brother got there. My brother wouldn't have even come to the hospital had I not been there. He kept trying to get me to leave the room and I refused. I wanted to be there through it all because I knew I would never see him again.
As soon as I got back to my Dad's house I had to call my daughter Savannah. My Dad was basically her Dad until she was 10 and I met Alan. She loved her "Poppa" very much. Her "father" has never even made an effort to see her. Savannah is dealing with the first death in our family since she was only 2 when my brother died. She had spent 5 days in Ft. Bragg visiting with my Dad in the hospital. She feels very lost right now and I don't know how to help her since I feel the same way. Saying goodbye to your Dad forever is just surreal.
It was the hardest thing I will ever do.

The Latest Family Drama

The above picture was taken at my oldest brother's wedding over Memorial Day weekend. I thought this would be a good "before" picture of me. I am on the far right next to my 79 yr. old Mom. Alan, my husband, is standing behind me. That tall skinny guy in the middle is my brother who stole all the skinny genes in our family. His wife is in front of him. Next to my skinny brother in the back row is my oldest brother who married the lady wearing the white dress in front. The older man on the end is my 83 yr. old step-father.

I haven't updated lately since I have been very upset about my father being ill. He has been in the hospital for almost a week now and has had many tests and scans done. He basically has CANCER everywhere in his body except his liver, spleen, gall bladder, and pancreas. All the reports state that the cancer is "metastic" but the Dr. still doesn't know where the Cancer started from. My Dad took the news much better than I did. I have had several meltdowns the past few days. I go from crying to being angry to feeling helpless. The Oncologist is going to do a needle biopsy on the largest tumor on one kidney. After he is through making his diagnosis he will give my Dad what options he has.

My so called "Christian brother and sister-in-law" have really pissed me off with the way they are acting about all this. My SIL is telling everyone that my brother had to take care of my Dad for a month when it was only 2 weeks and she is just "so happy to have her husband back home". It would have been just too much trouble for her to go over there and stay with my brother and help out I suppose. It might have interfered with one of her nightly church group meetings. I know I am going to unload on her one of these days and it ain't gonna be pretty.

Alan and I are going to drive up there next week and spend a few days. Alan doesn't deal with hospitals well and he doesn't want to get involved in a family fight so he can just stay at the hotel on the beach and enjoy the cool weather. I told him I NEEDED him to go with me. He doesn't have to go to the hospital with me and sit with my Dad but I want him there for my emotional support. I don't think that is asking too much. My daughter is going this week to visit. She is still pretty sore from her breast reduction surgery but is so very happy to have the worst part over with. She is visiting my Mom until the end of the month when she will come here to be with me for my surgery. Only 26 more days! I can't wait for it July 28th to arrive. I just wish my surgery was early in the morning instead of 2PM.

It has been hotter than hell here and I would give anything to have a swimming pool right now. I have been promised a pool when we move to Oklahoma in 2-3 years. I still haven't been able to wrap my mind around leaving California after 45 years. The change may be good for me by then.