Hardest Thing I'll Ever Do

I spent the last week in Ft. Bragg at the bedside of my father. He was alert enough to know I was there and we had a few laughs. By Thursday, July 13, he was unresponsive due to the increase in pain medications. I sat by his bed all day and just talked to him. I told him he didn't need to worry about me because I was going to have surgery soon to help my back and hopefully be able to go back to work. This was the only time I mentioned to him that I was having surgery ever.
I left the hospital at 9:25 just as "Sleepless in Seattle" was ending. He passed away right after I left while Jimmy Durante was singing "Make Someone Happy".
As soon as I walked into his house the phone was ringing and it was his nurse telling me the sad news. I was on my cell phone with my husband and of course I was hysterically crying and telling the nurse I would be right back to the hospital. Alan is yelling at me to get myself together before I tried to drive, which of course I didn't do. I don't know how I made that drive in one piece since I was crying the entire way. The nurse met me outside and hugged me. I went into my Dad's room and he looked exactly like I had left him. I sat by his bed crying and rubbing his forehead until my brother got there. My brother wouldn't have even come to the hospital had I not been there. He kept trying to get me to leave the room and I refused. I wanted to be there through it all because I knew I would never see him again.
As soon as I got back to my Dad's house I had to call my daughter Savannah. My Dad was basically her Dad until she was 10 and I met Alan. She loved her "Poppa" very much. Her "father" has never even made an effort to see her. Savannah is dealing with the first death in our family since she was only 2 when my brother died. She had spent 5 days in Ft. Bragg visiting with my Dad in the hospital. She feels very lost right now and I don't know how to help her since I feel the same way. Saying goodbye to your Dad forever is just surreal.
It was the hardest thing I will ever do.