Head Games

I was getting very irritated that I hadn't heard from my surgeon's office regarding my referral for the doppler study. I called his office at 9 this morning and was transferred to 3 different people before someone finally took my name and number and said they would call me back. Around 3 I received a phone call informing me that I had an appointment Monday morning at 10AM. Once my surgeon's office receives the report and if everything is OK they will submit everything to my insurance. I asked how far out my surgeon is scheduling for surgeries right now and she said "THREE WEEKS or sooner if there is a cancellation". I anticipate a surgery date early in June.
Now I have a few dilemma's. My daughter is scheduled for breast reduction surgery on June 7 and I want to be with her at the hospital and spend one night in town with her. She has a VERY small studio apartment so I will have to stay at a hotel. Her best friend since First Grade is coming to stay with her for at least two weeks to help drive her around etc. They are like sisters and Amanda will sleep on the floor on a twin air mattress. I know my daughter is scared and wants me there for her surgery since she has never been knocked out before. I also want to be there so I can sit and be a nervous wreck with Amanda. I had planned to tell my daughter about my surgery hoping she would be able to come and stay with me afterwards. Now it looks like our surgeries may be at the same time.

Also, I haven't told anyone in my family about my surgery yet. They all have thought I forgot about it. Except my Mother. She went to see her Psychic two weeks ago and the Psychic told her that I would be having "stomach surgery" soon. This was before my consultation appointment was changed from June 19 to May 1. My Mom thought until then that I had given up on having the surgery. She was completely against it because of all the bad press and people she knew through her work that had died 20+ years ago from staple line ruptures/infections. Since my Mom has been fighting Ovarian cancer for the last 6 years, I didn't want to add any more stress to her life and just stopped talking about having the surgery. After her visit to the Psychic, who by the way told her, "that my surgery would go just fine but I would have to be careful afterwards and follow doctor's directions" my Mom doesn't seem worried about it now. All I said to my Mom was "She must be talking about Savannah's surgery not me." I still want to wait until AFTER I actually have the surgery to tell her. Alan and I have already concocted a plan to get around my daily phone calls to Mom for a few days. She will be going through radiation for another stubborn tumor that over 4 months of Chemo didn't touch. Since I have back problems, I am going to be having some more "epidural injections" and will not feel up to talking on the phone. I hate lying to her but I don't want her to be worrying about me. She is the ultimate worry wart all the time anyway.

I know it is much easier to tell the truth because when you lie, especially being on drugs, it is hard to keep your stories straight. So I go on playing "Head Games" within myself.